It’s sad to fact that often after “I do” happier ever after doesn’t always follow. With divorce rates in Australia at 1.4% in every 1000 it doesn’t seem significant, but when looking at divorce trends we can see that the percentage of people separating after 20 years together have risen from 13% in 1990 to 28% in 2011. Studies have shown that alarmingly up to 1 in 3 marriages have been affected by infidelity and whilst they don’t always end in divorce, it is often a painful and emotional road to recovery. In many cases the victim may have a gut feeling about what’s going on but often even if the warning signs are all there, they choose to ignore them.
1. SIGNIFICANT CHANGE IN NORMAL ROUTINE.
The change in routine could be anything from more late nights in the office to driving a different route home. Cheating spouses often have to change their normal schedule to suit the other party. Even if the adjustments seem small it may be enough to accommodate time to continue with the affair. Arriving late home or to work may be an indication that they are stopping somewhere on the way. If your husband is spending more time at the gym then usual or your wife is having more ‘girls nights’ than usual, this should raise suspicion.
2. SUDDEN NEED FOR PRIVACY
With technology giving us so many avenues to connect with people it gives cheating spouses many different options to communicate right from the comfort of their own homes. This also increases their chances of getting caught as messages and photos are pretty difficult to dispute. If your partner suddenly decides that they want to put passwords on their accounts and limit your use on their devices it’s a red flag to say you need to investigate further. Look for empty call logs and unsaved numbers.
3. MAKING MORE OF AN EFFORT IN APPEARANCE
Whilst this seems like it only applies to women, it’s just as true for men as well. If your spouse suddenly puts more effort into getting ready for day-to-day activities it can be grounds for suspicion. Think about the effort they made for you once upon a time and how this can easily be done to impress someone new. For women, it could be new clothes and more makeup, while for men it could be more time working out at the gym and increased grooming.
4. CHANGE IN SEX DRIVE
Infidelity can work both ways in terms of the cheaters sex drive. An increase could be seen as an outlet for an emotional affair whilst sadly the more common decreases could be evident of a physical affair. It’s important to take note of changes to activity between the sheets.
Above all, your gut feeling will tell you if something is wrong. If you think that your partner is not faithful, then there is a good chance there is something going on. Whether it be just stress from work, a mid life crisis or an actual affair it is better to investigate then just sit and wait for the consequences. Try to put your emotions aside and look at facts. Be prepared for excuses or lies as cheaters are often excellent liars. Above all, if you have been cheated on, it’s better to know then not knowing.